Hieroglyphs Reveal Mayan Calendar Maker Was “Milking It For Overtime”

January 17, 2012
Hieroglyphs Reveal Mayan Calendar Maker Was “Milking It For Overtime”

“There must have been a contractually vague area. They were an advanced, commercial-driven society. They had unions, and they had laws for getting paid overtime,” said Epps, “And he took advantage of this by cranking out over 5,000 unwanted glyphs.”

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Intense Secrecy, Shame Surround Area Fifty-One-And-A-Half

November 22, 2011
Intense Secrecy, Shame Surround Area Fifty-One-And-A-Half

DISSOCIATED PRESS – NEVADA: The CIA has long remained silent about its involvement with Extraterrestrial research at Area 51, the remote Top Secret Military Base. They have also kept...

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Chupacabra? More Like, “Chupa Nickname”

September 7, 2011
Chupacabra? More Like, “Chupa Nickname”

Are you serious? There’s a mysterious, murderous beast out there, it’s draining the blood of livestock, and someone nicknamed it Chupacabra? That’s so lame! Chupa means sucks, and cabra...

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When I’m Thinking of Someone and the Phone Rings, it’s That Person, a Bill Collector

August 13, 2011
When I’m Thinking of Someone and the Phone Rings, it’s That Person, a Bill Collector

Thanks to my inner-spirit, I was able to sleep an extra hour, into the daylight, before going to my spirit-numbing job.

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I Believe in Cosmic Energy, and I’m a Conservative Republican

June 26, 2011
I Believe in Cosmic Energy, and I’m a Conservative Republican

The laws of karma connect us all throughout time and space. As long as we are connected to these parasitic Democrats, we must stop them. They already took our...

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Metric-Using 12-Step Group Converts To 30.48 Steps

April 23, 2011
Metric-Using 12-Step Group Converts To 30.48 Steps

“It all started when I was trying to make an analogy about the 12 steps to recovery resembling the inches in ruler of life,” said sobriety poet Norman MacLear,...

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Obama Ends Birth Certificate Debate With Rebirthing Therapy

April 16, 2011
Obama Ends Birth Certificate Debate With Rebirthing Therapy

“I needed to demonstrate that I am a full blooded American,” said Barack Obama while still wrapped in a baby blanket during the end of his paradigm shift, “For...

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Bikram and Chair Yoga Combine to Form Hot Office Yoga

April 9, 2011
Bikram and Chair Yoga Combine to Form Hot Office Yoga

“There’s nothing like clocking in, sitting down at the computer, turning the heat up to 115 degrees, stripping down into a Speedo, and keeping limber between phone calls,” said...

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Psst. Hey. Psst. I Only Joined This Silent Retreat To Meet People For My Network Marketing Business

January 19, 2011
Psst. Hey. Psst. I Only Joined This Silent Retreat To Meet People For My Network Marketing Business

"Judging from the quick, almost agitated glance you just gave me, I can tell you want more information about this amazing opportunity for growth. But I imagine you’re frustrated...

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6 Ways To Unobtrusively Exit For The Bathroom During Yoga Class

January 16, 2011
6 Ways To Unobtrusively Exit For The Bathroom During Yoga Class

In the world of yoga etiquette one finds conflicting guidelines around the question of whether or not it’s okay to use the bathroom during class. Some teachers, such as...

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