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Five Heavy-Handed Ways To Overcome Resistance To Meditation

meditation lock box

“Anyone who has ever practiced meditation with any regularity knows that the benefits are innumerable. Those who have practiced meditation with intensity during a silent retreat and then quickly lose impetus in everyday life, also know about the profound effects of going within.

Along with a sitting practice comes obstacles, both self-imposed and societal, that get in the way of consistency. For example, sometimes we despise meditation.

Half Prodigal Son Hits Bottom, Fails To Return Home

half prodigal son

“I just wanted to take the inheritance I had coming to me, forego education, and go out and live by my own free will,” said Weitz while collating papers in a job he got through a temp agency, “But I blew through the money, then took a bunch of shitty jobs, and eventually regretted being such a rebel.”

Dropped Psychic Connection Ruins Channeled Conversation

ouijaboard-1

“I hired Ethel to channel my husband Vance, to settle some questions that I’ve had since I lost him in a tragic late-night bird watching accident,” said former housewife Rebecca Cramston, in a post-séance interview. “But right when he was about to dispel rumors that he was unfaithful, Farbstein must have lost her telepathy signal or something.”

Yoga Journal Runs Out Of Front Cover Ideas

yoga journal front cover

“I considered padmasana (lotus), urdhva mukha svanasana (upward dog), or urdhva mukha paschimottanasana (upward facing forward fold), and marichyasana (seated spinal twist). But these too have been featured so many times, students don’t even want to practice them in class anymore.”

Ear Candles Ruin Birthday Cake

ear candles birthday cake

“I’m so sorry I altered his cake beyond edibility, this didn’t happen when I used ear candles on my daughter’s cake,” said Farbstein who actually did destroy her daughter’s Cinderella cake before blocking out the memory with euphemisms. “I mean, I remember my daughter’s cake being warm, but not melted.”