WASHINGTON DC– In a surprise announcement, the Green Party revealed yesterday that it has broken into two separate parties with differing public images. The new parties are calling themselves The Blue Party and the Yellow Party.
From Earth to anime
“As the Green Party, the platform was ecological with a focus on social justice,” said former Green Party spokesman Jeff Randall as he packed his desk on Capital Hill, “but the values are much different within the newly formed Blue and Yellow Parties.”
“The Blue Party is an New Orleans-based, nationally touring indie-folk band, and the Yellow Party is a Pokemon-themed children’s birthday celebration, “ said Randall. “When combined they formed grassroots democracy with a global sense of responsibility.”
“Although the new Parties will be more rewarding on a personal level, and jammin’ tunes like, “The Stragglers” and, “Homeless “ are now coming out of New Orleans, it’s too bad the Green Party won’t be around to combat the destruction of the earth.”
Who we are now
Both new parties represent their respective core principals from the Primaries. Whereas the Green Party focused on environmental sustainability, The Yellow Party strives to explore the rich fictional universe of role-playing created in 1996 by Satoshi Tajiri. The Blue Party’s new platform is, “bringing the house down” according to Twitter.
The Green Party first noticed internal differences when trying to decide which human rights issue to lobby: religious freedom or secular equality. After filling out private ballots, we realized that 50% of the Party would rather produce melodic upbeat rhythms, and the other half would rather play video games and exchange trading cards featuring 493 fictional creatures.
“The leader of the Yellow Party will always be determined by which member holds the Pikachu card,” said Randall, “Pikachu is apparently the central yellow character after which the party is named.”
When asked where he would be working now that the Green Party is dissolved, Jeff Randall answered, “Well, I’ve never been much for Japanese children’s collectibles, so I suppose I’m moving to New Orleans to learn how to jam.”
“I have to say, I’ll miss promoting renewable resources and making the earth livable,” said Randall, “but on the other hand, I’ve heard you’ve never lived until you’ve loaded up the tour van and hit some house parties.”
Photo credit: Guy: ItzaFineDay: fickr
Green Party sign: James Bowe