Yoga Journal Runs Out Of Front Cover Ideas

yogajournalrunsout

Ethel Farbstein, front cover manager (center) reacts to realizing Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana I and II have already been on too many Yoga Journal covers.

LOS ANGELES – The Yoga Journal, in an emergency press release, announced the tragic news Thursday:  They had completely exhausted every single front cover option.

“We just totally hit a brick wall, it really feels like a turning point for The Yoga Journal,” said Front Cover manager Ethel Farbstein, “Unless we start doing impressionistic cover art, there is no choice but to redo all the covers, starting with the first issue in 1975.”

“But even during those 35 years, we repeated pictures of a handful of the same poses over and over,” continued Farbstein, “So it’s not like reprinting the decades-long sequence frees us from redundancy.”

All out of Hatha

 

The Yoga Journal started with a $500 credit card, and now has a readership of over 1,000,000. It has always prided itself on useful content and eye-catching photography. However, speculation has recently risen that readers are overexposed to these photos.

“I sat down to choose the next cover photo, and I was like, ‘How about 8-limbed pose, astavakrasana,’” offered Farbstein, “But then I thought, ‘No we do that every 5th issue or 6th issue.’ And then I considered padmasana (lotus), urdhva mukha svanasana (upward dog), or urdhva mukha paschimottanasana (upward facing forward fold), and marichyasana (seated spinal twist). But these too have been featured so many times, students don’t even want to practice them in class anymore.”

pigeon_YJ

A beautiful rendition of Eka Pada Raja Ustrasana (aka Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana II) on the cover of an old, grey Yoga Journal.

Biggest offenders

 

Two specific yoga asanas (poses) have been depicted so many times, even dedicated students lose concentration when they practice them.

“I was adjusted into Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana (One foot King Pigeon) and immediately my mind jumped to every third time I’ve ever picked up a Yoga Journal,” said student Stephanie Burnett, “and then instead of slowly breathing, I rapidly thought of all the people whom I’d tell that I did that pose from the Yoga Journal covers.”

The other most commonly recurring Yoga Journal front cover differs from King Pigeon only in placement of one leg. Eka Pada Raja Ustrasana  (One foot King Camel) is so often shown as cover art, Yoga master B.K.S. Iyengar refers to it as, “Yoga Journasana.”

Thinking Capotasana

 

A benefit of having a logistical crisis at a company run by flexible-minded yogis is the wealth of positive attitude and possible solutions.

“The marketing department is considering combining forces with another niche market in order to double our front cover options,” said an anonymous insider, “Since we are owned by the same company that owns Black Belt Magazine, maybe we could combine and call it, ‘Yoga and Fighting Journal.’”

“At the very least,” added Farbstein, “we could have a contest to come up with some new traditional-looking yoga poses. We’d get some new covers, but we’d also get legal rights to these positions. With our circulation we could easily trademark more body positions than even Bikram. Ka-ching!”

“Heh, imagine that,” said Farbstein, former life-coach, “the solution to our problem could possibly bring us even more money than if we never had a problem in the first place. This certainly is a turning point.”

Thanks for reading this satire in my comedy blog, please tell your friends!

 

Photo credit: Sean Dreilinger/flickr

Share this:
Share this page via Email Share this page via Stumble Upon Share this page via Digg this Share this page via Facebook Share this page via Twitter
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Technorati Tags: ,

2 comments for “Yoga Journal Runs Out Of Front Cover Ideas

  1. September 24, 2010 at 11:34 am

    Another brilliant piece! Favorite line: “Two specific yoga asanas (poses) have been depicted so many times, even dedicated students lose concentration when they practice them.”

    • September 24, 2010 at 4:23 pm

      Thank you! Maybe now I’ll lose concentration when I practice King Pigeon because I’ll be thinking about Yoga Journal AND this article! Uh-oh!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *