Man Getting Massage Keeps Waiting For Om CD To Get To The Bridge

Dissociated Press.

A man receiving a deep-tissue massage last week in Connecticut found himself waiting for the droning “Om” CD to get to the musical bridge. Dan Jennings, a newcomer to the healing arts, was initially relaxed when he heard the deep baritone “Ommmmmm” accompanied by a single note played on a synthesizer.

“But then after like ten minutes I was getting distracted thinking, ‘Man this song has to get to a chorus or a bridge or something soon’”, said Dan after the massage.

The masseuse, Carol Rothstein said, “I specifically play the Om CD to quiet the overactive mind, I have never heard of it doing the opposite.”

Dan, a construction worker, was given a gift certificate for the massage by his girlfriend, an essential oils pyramid scheme salesperson. “It was a really thoughtful gift.” said Dan, “The massage felt great but the whole time I heard that note,  I kept thinking the Zeppelin song, ‘Kashmir’ was just about to kick in. ’Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face, and stars to fill my dream!’”

At Dan’s request, Carol eventually switched the CD to “Sounds of the Rainforest”. Dan however, admittedly kept thinking that if this was really the sounds of the rainforest, there would be chain saws, trees falling and tribal villagers running away through the ferns.

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