Introducing: Have-A-Heart Listerine

“Catches And Releases The Germs That Cause Bad Breath”

We all want our fellow beings, big and small, to be happy. And we all want to have good breath. Now, for the first time, you can do both. Introducing: Have a Heart Listerine.

Until now we only had two choices: 1) Have Bad Breath. Or 2) Use an antiseptic mouthwash to kill the germs that cause bad breath.

So either your breath would smell fresh, or you would commit mass genocide on countless millions of microscopic organisms. Either you were a minty-mouthed charmer, or you were a ruthless murderer.

Modern Technology coupled with top-notch clinical microbiology and hippie types has developed a method of capturing and releasing the so-called “bad germs”. We let them live the happy, productive lives that they were born to lead.

You can give your germs a second life. Without rotten egg breath and the weight of a troubled conscience, you can live the happy, productive life that you were born to lead!

And you have no need to worry about the well being of your newly removed germs. Upon each purchase, you will be provided with an address to mail your emigrant germs. They will be incorporated into a private gingivitis holding tank. The temperature will be monitored, nice and warm, to extend the life of your newly liberated microbacteria.

In an Antiseptic world, you can take ease knowing that your  Proseptic ideals are alive and well with Have A Heart Listerine.

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