A Karma Lampoon Editorial
By Jen WadCell
This is great, my ears are ringing! I wonder who is talking about me? Could it be that hunk, Jim from work? Or could it be my best friend Becky? Or maybe it is just tinnitus, a hereditary physical ailment which also plagued my grandmother and my father.
I’m a good person, so I don’t worry that people would be talking negatively about me. In fact, I get excited to think that I made a good impression on someone today and am being mentioned gratefully. That is, if this ringing isn’t just a common symptom of head trauma and stress. Believe me, I have both.
Someone could easily be talking about me because of all of the social networking I do. I’m on facebook and twitter. I hope to spark lots of thought-provoking discussions based on my retweets. Or, this could be tinnitus, a condition that would make me a social handicap.
I read once that everyone is connected, psychically. Now, I don’t really believe in all of this, but I have experienced some weird things. Like I’d think of someone and immediately they’d call. But those are bill collectors! LOL. Or, I’d be singing a song and then turn on the radio, and there it is, Dido!
So, for the most part I’m just like tickled! Like, I’m freaking out over here, because someone is really, REALLY talking about me strongly. It is creating a very high, and occasionally a low pitch, almost a buzzing. Sometimes it even sounds like crickets or spring peepers.
If this is a secret admirer, he better stop admiring me so vocally, or he’ll reveal his secret! Also, if he doesn’t stop, I might have to get one of those little phantom hearing aids.
The funny thing about whoever is chatting it up about little ole Jen, is that they talk about me mostly continuously but sometimes pulsating in time with my heartbeat.
Or course, Tinnitus also has that same symptom. But what are the odds? On my facebook profile alone there are 431 people who could be talking about me. But my ears? I only have two!
Oh shoot, I just missed a phone call. Hmm, I thought I had the ringer volume up. I did have it set to ring. I didn’t hear it, did you?
You did? Hm.