by A Bodhisattva
Before I get started, let me just warn you: Someone came to full past-life consciousness on the wrong side of the bed early this incarnation. So for those of you, whom I’ve known for countless lives, excuse me, you know I’m beyond all these temporal formations. It’s just, man, I’m so sick of this same old lifelong routine, over and over.
I never ever thought that staying on the physical plane for the betterment of all living being could be so friggin’ repetitive.
So for once, I’d like to take like a good fourteen lives off and just chillax. Or go fishing or just go camping. Heck, I wish I could just drop the Buddhist Code of Discipline and swill back a few cold beers. I’d be like, “Now You’re Living The High Life!” Or maybe I’d spend just a few lives at home with one of the female souls who has been my wife in about 900 lives. We have a good karmic bond, but very often I don’t get to see her for many lives in a row while I’m out Bodhisattvaing.
Problem is, I don’t have enough good karma saved up to last me fourteen lives of not working on liberating souls. I’d be screwed even if I took 5 lives off. As any vacationer knows, during those five days I’d not be earning good karma, and I’d be creating Karmic deficits with the use of intoxicants, gambling or eating meat.
Don’t judge me for that. I mean, c’mon! I’d be on vacation! Give me a break. But there will be no vacation for this Bodhisattva.
I’m in a rut.
I’ve seen it a million times, well, actually 780,000 times. Ignorance gives rise to mental formations, consciousness and psychophysical phenomena, like the six senses. These come into contact with sense objects causing feeling, craving, and attachment. Attachment sucks.
I’m attached to helping people, and I’m attached to a choice I turned down long ago: to forever leave the realm of suffering and rebirth when I could have. I miss my Theravada Buddhist buddies who moved onto to Nirvana. But here I am, “Mr. Mahayana Buddhist”, trying to outdo the original Buddha with a binding vow to not disengage from this realm of gross phenomena.
It’s like I have carpel tunnel of the soul. Life in, life out.
Excuse me. I know. I have to breathe and step back and observe the reality of the present moment, AS IT IS, without reacting to it. In the present moment, nothing is actually bad.
But in this present moment, I’m sticking around to liberate people, and they don’t even want to be liberated anymore. It’s the worst! Why am I wasting my time!
And to add insult to injury…I was the one who actually wanted to take a Bodhisattva vow. I willingly decided to not relinquish my last karmic whisper that keeps binding me to future incarnations. At the time I was thinking, “Well, why not? Final liberation is totally within my reach, and that wasn’t too hard. Maybe I’ll just keep coming back to help other people.” You know, the old “advanced soul/Florence Nightingale” complex.
I know, I know, I need to meditate and observe this bad life until it passes. Before I know it, the heavy, agitated feeling of this life will pass and viola! It will be a new life! Part of me just can’t wait. Just get this one in the can. I almost feel like just getting in bed and sleeping off the next 46 years or so. I mean, we all deserve a mental health life now and then. But really, those 46 years will pass like the blinking of an eye, so I should probably just enjoy them.
So, for the billionth time, “Om Mani Padme Hum”.