I Hope This Espresso Will Speed Up My Homeopathic Medicine

By Bej Llewdac

I’m very anxious to feel my new homeopathic remedies begin to work their magic. I have full faith in the subtle wonders of homeopathy, and I am keeping myself as alert as possible so I can actively witness the effects of my anti-stress droplets. It has been a long day, so I’m drinking espresso to help my metabolism to better assimilate this natural medicine.

I work 70 hours per week at the Stock Exchange, and have to rely on two different totally natural plant-based solutions to make it through the day. 1) The homeopathic anti-stress medicine called, “Rescue Remedy”, and 2) Eights shots or more of top grade Arabica espresso. I always only ingest 100% organic Rescue remedy droplets and espresso quarts, which makes my naturopath very happy. And my body just loves it!

Homeopathy is such an amazing science. They take like one particle of a natural plant or mineral substance and dilute it in a solution of water and alcohol and soak it for a couple weeks. Then they take one drop, re-dilute it in distilled water, shake it up, and repeat over and over. The solution is done when it contains less than one full molecule of the original substance.

I sure hope those 2 little droplets of rescue remedy kick in soon. Luckily, I also just absorbed about 600 mgs of caffeine to enhance my brain’s ability to detect the imperceptible homeopathic energy pattern.

Caffeine inhibits the neurotransmitters that signal bodily depletion in the brain. It also increases dopamine levels much like amphetamines do. This produces a euphoric effect that allows me to be patient enough to wait for the much, much more subtle and questionably active effects of the Rescue Remedy.

Homeopathic droplets function on an energetic vibration level. The essence of the original particles works on the undetectable electromagnetic field of the body.

I feel like every cell in my body is humming right now. Maybe it is my elusive electromagnetic field vibrating?  My stomach hurts, my legs are twitching and I can’t stop drumming my fingertips on the walls of my cubicle. I sure hope those 2 little droplets of rescue remedy kick in soon. Luckily, I also just absorbed about 600 mgs of caffeine to enhance my brain’s ability to detect the imperceptible homeopathic energy pattern.

At one point my body developed tolerance to all this caffeine. Maybe my nerves are so frayed because I’ve also developed a tolerance to the anti-stress Rescue Remedy.

Well, I have about four more hours of work to put in here at the office. Thanks to homeopathy I have the wherewithal to know that I won’t be able to complete my tasks unless I also have a Five Hour Energy Drink. The great thing about drinking it now is, when I’m done working, I’ll still have one hour of energy left over. I’ll use that hour to do some research to find a stronger homeopathic remedy to which I don’t already have a tolerance.

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