By Hal Diddler
I’m way into metaphysical things, I eat up all the information I can about the energy fields permeating the fabric of the universe. I also eat up all the food I can, mostly Vienna sausage and ribs.
Being a thinker, I got to marveling at how everything is just borrowed energy from God or from the sun. All physical phenomena are just vibrating particles that have been temporarily rerouted to form objects for a while.
My body is also borrowed energy, a lot of it.
Let me clear up a possible point of confusion: When I say that I have lots of “Energy” stored up inside of me, I am not talking about like, “5 Hour Energy” drink. I don’t mean “motivation” to accomplish things. I don’t have that kind of energy. I can hardly walk up the stairs. I just mean biomass.
I watched someone throw a log onto a bonfire the other night. In life, that tree had converted energy from the sun and soil into the cells of its timber. In death, the stored energy remained dormant in those cells until the flame released it. I have lots of this miracle that I release in burps and farts, and when I crap. My man boobs alone exude heat, as though they are little suns. And if there is energy that I can’t release, my body conveniently converts it into flesh. Talk about transmutation!
“Because I binge eat, and drink beer every night, and hate exercise, my physical vessel contains quite a bit more stored up God than most people.”
Energy is energy. We all have the same electromagnetic essence. The God-matter within me is the same as the God-matter in an atom in a chunk of granite. But unless it is a quite sizable chunk of granite, I’d have to say that I probably have more energy stored away in me than in the rock.
The Laws of Physics
Matter cannot be created or destroyed, but it can be transformed and stored. I have been transforming and storing dozens of Whoppers of energy lately. I always do that when I’m lonely or sad or during the holidays.
Because I binge eat, and drink beer every night, and hate exercise, my physical vessel contains quite a bit more stored up God than most people contain. My large, bulbous frame is just a resting area for the eternal Genesis.
I figure in my colon alone, I must have 25 pounds of impacted fecal solar energy. The red meat I eat takes a very long time to digest, especially because I’m not a big chewer. But instead of allowing it to digest and exit my body, I consume more undifferentiated food molecules, usually burgers before bed. This compacts the previous layers down, forming mucoid cement.
And because this biomass must eventually return to the earth and the ethers, my back fat and triple chin are just part of the universe.
Some people say the energy we are borrowing is from God. Some say it is from the sun and other particles in the universe. I say it’s all the same thing, and these are just semantics. It is clear that my energy mostly comes from particles of Miller Genuine Draft, Doritos, and drive-throughs. And these things, as refined as they are, trace their source back to God and the Sun! And I’m just going to hold onto some of it for a while. Hallelujah and Bon appetit!