Life Coach With Boring Life Views Everything As A Turning Point

Ethel Farbstein’s life may be boring, but her Life Coaching sales pitch is downright obnoxious. photo credit sean dreilinger

PAGOSA SPRINGS, CO – During a chance encounter at a juice bar, 27-year old Life Coach Ethel Farbstein revealed to acquaintance Sara Porter the major crossroads of her actually uneventful life.

“Well, that’s funny that you should ask about how my Life Coaching is going,” said Ethel to Sara as she sat down uninvited, “I just had a vision this morning about how my incredible journey has prepared me to lead people like you who are sitting here today looking for guidance.”

Sara Porter accidentally encouraged  Ethel’s mystic but boring sales pitch, “What happened?”

Mystic Visionary

Ethel proceeded to describe, with very little coherence, a mix of details about her Tarot Cards, a deer she saw, a dream about her teeth, her recent lack of car and income, and her need to help people. When she paused for a moment, her listener Sara Porter kept hoping she’d say something to bring it all sensibly together. Ethel just nodded and said, “It’s really a turning point.”

Before Sara could figure out what she meant, Ethel continued, “In fact, I also had a vision that I’d teach whoever was here today about how to live.”

“Really? Wow,” said Sara, looking for ways to exit gracefully. Sara’s lack of enthusiasm was apparent to anyone except Life Coach Ethel Farbstein.

Major Life Changes

Ethel then recounted her journey from her hometown of Pagosa Springs,  Colorado, to a community college in Durango, 60 miles away and eventually straight back to Pagosa Springs.

“There were many important turning points for me in Durango. Like on the morning of my College graduation, I spontaneously took a left coming out of The Steaming Bean Coffee House, and I saw an old friend from Pagosa Springs. It was a sign that I was supposed to drop my Peace Corp plans, and move back to Pagosa. It was totally a turning point.”

Available to Help You

Ethel proceeded to find much meaning and symbolism in her daily struggle of having moved back with her parents after being dumped by her boyfriend that she’d had since junior high school. “But it opened me up. Now that was a turning point.”

Ethel concluded as Sara left, “I think our meeting was meant to be. You should think about that.” And then she over-emphasized her grammatically counterproductive slogan, “ If you ever need a Life Coach To Help Maximize Your Potential for Less Money, please call me.”

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