“I find that most people make the best plans for their well-being during a drunken binge,” said Candice Martin, sociologist, during a Skype interview from her bathtub while nursing a hangover. “During the fragile beginnings of our personal transformation, we all like to reminisce about the small talk, keg-stands and Yeager-bombs we enjoyed while...
“Pierre understands our strategic mission to basically envelop the natural order of biological, humanitarian, environmental and moral principals, and then rape it with a nauseating dose of pure, carcinogenic evil,” said Monsanto CEO Hugh Grant, a hollow soul acting in conjunction with Lucifer.
“We all want freedom,” said Bhagwan Dukka, who has been holding up an iron rod in his left hand for 9 years, “Freedom from suffering, freedom from the body, and freedom to use my other hand to work the remote, use the laptop or do some reading in total warmth and comfort.”
I know that my dollar is basically a vote to back up what I believe in. And I seriously do not want to support the senseless cruelty to animals. They are conceived, raised and slaughtered in the most inhumane circumstances possible. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemies. Unfortunately, I also wouldn’t want...
Yoga means Union. It unifies the person with God. But in our case, we connect with you via Instant Messenger. Simply keep the IM thread alive long enough to disclose your credit card number and you can teach alongside the certified competitors churned out by YogaWorks’ 4-week teacher training! $5000 + non-refundable self-esteem.
Greetings faithful subscribers and serendipitous web-surfers, After much time and silence I am excited to be returning to Karma Lampoon. Much has transpired since beginning this ultra-fun project. An explanation is in order! Firstly, for those of you versed in Ayurvedic sciences, my dosha is Pitta-Vatta. Some may argue and say I’m Vatta-Pitta, but...
"Anyone who has ever practiced meditation with any regularity knows that the benefits are innumerable. Those who have practiced meditation with intensity during a silent retreat and then quickly lose impetus in everyday life, also know about the profound effects of going within. Along with a sitting practice comes obstacles, both self-imposed and societal, that...
“I just wanted to take the inheritance I had coming to me, forego education, and go out and live by my own free will,” said Weitz while collating papers in a job he got through a temp agency, “But I blew through the money, then took a bunch of shitty jobs, and eventually regretted...
"Being the wild child of Zeus with ties to Mount Olympus, I thought the good times would never end. But ever since the decline of Greco-Roman polytheism and now that all my friends are in relationships, no one really parties anymore."
“He wrote his name down before realizing the regular teacher, Valerie Brice, had subbed out the class to Greta,” said Sandy Westhouse, fellow student who witnessed the event. “Then he glimpsed Greta lighting sage and candles for the studio, and he just lost it.”
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